Yuffie Does The Real World
by Moi -D
Summary: This is part 2 to the ~*Man Eating Pocky*~ story. Well, Yuffie...YOU MANIAC! YOU BLEW IT UP! *cries*


Yuffie has a rare disease, and must travel to the real world to undergo treatment! *cringe* I can't believe I'm taking her there, but without her my fics would be kaput!  
Yuffie: Thats right mister!  
Anyways.............on to the story.  
  
Yuffie Does The Real World  
  
By Moi ô¿ô  
  
At the North Crater..........  
Cloud: Are you sure you want to do this?  
Moi ô¿ô: No. But if it'll save my future stories, then I have no choice......  
Yuffie: *cough* *wheeze*  
Cid comes running out onto the deck of the Highwind.  
Cid: I finished it! *drags out a big metal pod*  
Tifa: What is it?   
Cid: Whats it ^%$#'n look like??  
Sephy: Personally, I think it looks like a big supository.  
Cid: Almost! I built it so The Great...err.. Moi ô¿ô can ride through the dimensional butthole in it. I call it........"The Rectal Rocket!"  
Moi ô¿ô: Awww. Thanks guys! I almost don't wanna go back to the real world......  
Yuffie: Speak for yourself......  
Moi ô¿ô: I'd let you ride Yuffie, *climbs into the big metal pod* but its just too small.  
Yuffie: ......mumble....grumble......  
Moi ô¿ô: *closes the Rectal Rocket door, and gets pushed over the side of the cliff, into the big butt shaped stone mass below*  
Yuffie: Bombssawayy.....*jumps over the side*  
  
|§|§|§|§|§|§|Portal sequence|§|§|§|§|§|§|  
  
Moi ô¿ô: *gets out of the Rectal Rocket, and looks around* Yuffie??  
Yuffie: AHHHHHHH!!!! *runs up to Moi ô¿ô*  
Moi ô¿ô: What?!??   
Yuffie: I got poop on me!! *clutches Moi ô¿ô*  
Moi ô¿ô: Ack! Get off me!.......So where are we?  
Yuffie: *looks around* On some big green lady's head.  
Moi ô¿ô: Uh-oh......*looks over the side, and hears people screaming*  
Person 1: AHHHHHHHH!!! Aliens!!!!  
Person 2: Its the war of the worlds!!!!  
Moi ô¿ô: *hits himself in the head* Knew this was a bad idea.......  
Yuffie: How do we get down?  
Moi ô¿ô: Uhhh......Don't you have some kinda materia that'll take care of that?  
Yuffie: Maaaaaybe! *gets them down by riding on Bahamut's back*  
Yuffie: Thanks! Luv ya!  
Bahamut: Last time you called me you couldn't open a jar of Zolom steak sauce, only call me for important matters.....  
Moi ô¿ô: Uhh sorry about that.  
Bahamut dissappears.  
Yuffie: Where'd all the people go? *cough*  
Moi ô¿ô: Probably to see a medical specialist, which is where I'd like to get you.  
Somehow they get to the hospital, and Yuffie is cured.  
Moi ô¿ô: You ready to go back you your world yet?  
Yuffie: *stands there with a look on her face*  
Moi ô¿ô: Yuffie?  
Yuffie: *stands there with a look on her face*  
Moi ô¿ô: Yuffie?!?  
Yuffie: *stands there with a look on her face*  
Moi ô¿ô: *pokes Yuffie, and the cardboard cut-out falls over* Great.......... Where could she be??  
Somewhere in Bloomingdales.......  
Yuffie: *looks around* What a bunch of weirdos...... And what is this strange money? *looks at the money she swiped from people*  
Yuffie walks across the street to a coffee shop.  
Yuffie: I'd like ummmm.....4 ethers, and 5 hi potions, and a soft please.  
Clerk: *chews on her gum incessantly* Now, ma'm, we don't have any of that.  
Yuffie: What kinda store is this!? What do you have?  
Clerk: We have *rattles off about 27 types of coffee*  
Yuffie: Ok.....I'll try a Caffe Latte.....  
Clerk: That'll be 2 even.  
Yuffie: Its that cheap?!?!? Dang.....*hands the clerk 2 gill*  
Clerk: Wha?? Uhhh Miss?  
Yuffie: *sits down, sipps the coffee, and spits it back out almost right away* Ick! Tastes like *flashes back to the time Hojo kissed her* Nah.....its not that bad.....*thinks about a Molboro taking a crap* Thats more like it!  
Yuffie throws the coffee away, and leaves while everyone stares at her as though she's just committed a crime.  
Yuffie: Heeey! *her face lights up*  
Yuffie returns to the Statue of Liberty  
Yuffie: Nyuk nyuk nyuk.....  
Moi ô¿ô: Yuffie!! *runs up to her* What did you do? Have the 3rd world countries declared war yet?  
Yuffie: Watch this! *throws a bottle of Soft at the Statue of Liberty*  
Moi ô¿ô: A soft! NOO!!  
The Statue of Liberty begins to turn into a real woman.  
Yuffie: Heeee!  
Moi ô¿ô: Oh crud......  
Liberty: So, which one of ya brought me back?  
Yuffie: The best looking one here!! *jumps up and down*  
Liberty: *immeadiately looks to Moi ô¿ô*  
Yuffie: Grrrr........  
Moi ô¿ô: Uhhh....uh....uhhh....hi.....  
Liberty: He speaks! Oh Great one, is there anything I can do for you?  
Moi ô¿ô: Ugghh....I got enough of that back in your world, Yuffie.... *takes Yuffie's basilisk claw camera, and takes Liberty's picture, returning her to normal*  
Yuffie's materia detector suddenly goes insane.  
Yuffie: Heeey! Theres materia here! You must have switched on my detector.  
Moi ô¿ô: Wha?? Can't be......  
Yuffie: By the Da Chao's sneer!! This whole planet's one big materia orb!!!!!  
Moi ô¿ô: WHAT!?! Impossible! How would you equip it?  
Yuffie: *dives on the ground, face first, and activates the materia*  
The Earth bursts into flames.  
Moi ô¿ô: Good one........  
Yuffie: *gets up* Hmmm must be some kind of self-destrusting materia......  
Moi ô¿ô: Lets go back to your world....cuz mine is kinda burning....  
Yuffie: Not a problem! *summons Typoon, who puts a tornado around them, and transports them back to the crater*  
|§|§|§|§|§|§|Portal sequence|§|§|§|§|§|§|  
Cloud: Two 3's...... *tries to keep a straight face*  
Tifa: One 4......*tries to keep a straight face*  
Aeris: Sephiroth crap!  
Tifa: Aww shoot! *takes all the cards that were laid down*  
Sephy: I hate that game......  
A portal opens, and Moi ô¿ô and Yuffie fall out  
Cloud: Moi ô¿ô!! Yuffie!!  
Moi ô¿ô: Owww....that really takes it outta ya.....  
Yuffie: Hey guys!!!  
Cid: Looks like she survived that disease........  
Everyone: *Groans*  
Yuffie: *Grins like a 3-year-old*  
  
THE END ô¿ô! 


End file.
